Poem: Bro

A Note To You: This week, because of everything that is currently happening in the world, Ian and I made the decision to move to Rochester, NY a whole week early! That means as of 8pm on Saturday I will be self quarantined with my parents dog patiently awaiting the news that our new apartment is ready for us. With all of the packing that is currently happening I am afraid I don't have much time for content generation so this week I would like to share a poem I wrote. It is called Bro and based off of some real experiences throughout my late teens and early twenties. Back in 2018 I submitted this and another poem to The Finger Mag (an independent poetry magazine out of Finger Lakes Community College) in which it received it's first publication. Rereading, I can tell that a lot of this is not my best example of writing (I've actually edited quite a few bits) and it has not aged very well. But it is a snapshot in time riddled with quotes from relationships that confused the ever loving heck out of me. Thank you for taking the time to read and I hope you are all safe and healthy. See you next week <3

Bro

Caitlin Circa 2010. 17 years old.

Eeky skin & squishy knuckles

Fat on my stomach

Fat on my hips

I was tall & lumpy

Aren't tall girls supposed to be skinny?

Slender

Look like a Victoria Secret model

With my push up bra

My set of silver wings

But wait, wait

That's not what I had

I wasn't an angel to you

No

I was one of the guys

One of the boys

Push my hair behind my ear

"You're just like us."

Unsnap my training bra

"Bro, I love that you're always down to hang."

Slip your hand down my pants

"You're not like other girls."

I make you cum with my teenage lips

"I knew you were kinky."

Don't text me back

Leave hickies on my neck the size of your latest mistake

I'll cover them up so you don't have to deal with the questions

Don't kiss me goodbye in the morning, 

But tell me how I should go to your church

"God is great, he'll save you."

Don't invite me out when she's around

"Don't be jealous he chose her. She's special."

So you put a band-aid on my heart and your lips on my hips

Mold me & make me into your something special

But when the going gets tough the weak fuck you up

Bandages peel off, you hope the worst will be a tiny scar

When the wound is still open you think:

"Maybe I put it on wrong. Maybe I should try again."

I'll tell him, "I think you're brother is cute."

You're a sweet guy, with morals and a soft heart. Saw me through the worst, I thought you'd help me be my best.

"Oh, I'd never set you up with him." 

"Why not?" 

"You've got too many issues."

But you sit me on your lap, whisper in my ear:

"No matter where you go, or how long you're gone, you will always be my favorite."

And in the night light you kiss me

Kiss me deep and passionately

And when it's finally over and you haven't spoken to me in 5 months

Tell me you were drunk

You don't remember any of it

But thank god I woke you up & saved you from the mosquito's

Package me.Pick me up.Hide me.

Forget about me.Leave me behind.Pass me off to the next guy in line.

Wait...

What happened?

I thought I was one of the guys?